Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Up and Down

Well I'm back at work and the kids are back in school and life goes on. We have our good days and bad days. On good days we talk about Rebecca and cry a little. On bad days we get caught up in daily life and forget to cry... or is it the other way around?

I have received an overwhelming number of letters and cards. It is amazing how many people Rebecca touched in her life. I hope and plan to respond to ALL of the cards... but it may take a year or two. I have decided to prioritize responses to people who do NOT read this blog as they will not receive this message: "Thank You".

Thursday, September 15, 2011

A week attempt at stretching the title theme

Well, I promised myself I would write at least weekly updates for now.. so here I am.

And that pretty much sums up how I am feeling: If I give myself structure then I can follow it, I can walk through all of the actions of the day but I continue to feel like I'm playing a role rather than living a life.

I have started working again although holding any focus is very hard. I am trying to at least contribute what I can from my 'expertise'. It's kind of strange how radically the world has changed and yet these systems that I work on still seem to work in the same basic way. It's kind of comforting, in a way.

The kids continue to live life and miss their mom. Less tears, but still plenty. We talk about Rebecca a fair amount and we talk about our loss... we try to understand how to best take care of ourselves.

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Two Week to move

Life continues to be totally surreal, I feel like I'm on drugs or.. something. It amazes me how Rebecca's presence was/is woven into everything I do and how palpable her absence is. I am told that I am grieving... as I am meant to grieve... woohoo... I'm doing it right, apparently. It sucks!

The kids are also up and down. Their days are full of the excitement of the new school year, new social and academic challenges. By bedtime they are physically and emotionally exhausted and we all get together for a cry over how much it sucks that Rebecca isn't with us.