On Sunday it was Rebecca's birthday and the one year anniversary since her death. In keeping with jewish tradition we set a permanent marker on her grave. We then returned to our house in Berkeley and reminisced and celebrated Rebecca's life.
Here are some photos of the day: https://plus.google.com/photos/102500016071484549637/albums/5779534087160218097?authkey=CLDqmonx4eW88AE
Love Love
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Monday, August 13, 2012
Some Memorial Details
A couple of details, please let me know if you have other questions:
We will meet at the 'bend in the road'. You turn form the street into the parking lot. You can either park there or keep driving further up. There is only the one road leaving the parking lot deeper into the property. If you drive or walk up it, about a quarter mile past the main building you will find us gathered at the first significant bend in the road. We will walk from there to Rebecca's grave at a little after 11am.
If you are late then, at that bend, follow the path that continues 'straight' in the direction the road was going. Once you get to the end of that path you should see us a little way off under the trees.
You will end up walking abouta half mile, so bring comfortable shoes. Dress will be generally informal. I will be in jeans but I might put on a button down shirt for the occasion.
Rabbi Zellman will lead us in a short ceremony setting a permanent marker at the grave and marking the passage of a year since Rebecca's death. After the ceremony people are welcome to stay at the grave for a while or to wander the grounds at Fernwood which is a lovely place to discover.
When you are ready, head back to my place in Berkeley where there will be a catered buffet lunch. The house will be open for the afternoon and I hope we can all spend some time together celebrating Rebecca's life. We can share stories of Rebecca and how she continues to influence our lives.
For people who will only be coming to the Berkeley part of the day. I expect the house to be open and welcoming by 12:30 pm.
I look forward to seeing you all.
Love Love,
Andy
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Forever in my heart
18 years ago today Rebecca and I walked down the isle and exchanged vows. Till death do us part. Death came too soon but she remains with me and the kids every day and continues to influence how we live our lives. My love for Rebecca is not expressed in the past tense it is present and future.
1 year ago Rebecca and I went out to celebrate our anniversary, we had ice-cream. It was the last time we went out together on a date.
Today, I miss Rebecca.
1 year ago Rebecca and I went out to celebrate our anniversary, we had ice-cream. It was the last time we went out together on a date.
Today, I miss Rebecca.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Time Passes
I am starting to organize a 'stone setting' when we will place the permanent marker at Rebecca's grave. This will happen on August 19th, her birthday and the one year anniversary of her death. The ceremony at the cemetery will be followed by a gathering (party) at my place. Details, as they emerge, will be posted here on the blog.
I'm going to put an evite out too but am worried that I will miss someone. You are all invited and if you don't see the evite from me in the next couple of weeks ping me to make sure I have your current email address.
Love love.
I'm going to put an evite out too but am worried that I will miss someone. You are all invited and if you don't see the evite from me in the next couple of weeks ping me to make sure I have your current email address.
Love love.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Half a year
Yesterday marked the 6 month anniversary of Rebecca's passing. We talk about her often, she is still very present in our lives. We all miss her terribly. But, meanwhile, life goes on...
In the last 6 months I have: Built what amounts to an extension on the house to be the home of the Olive Press, totally remodeled the downstairs bathroom, replaced the floor and the sink in the upstairs bathroom, Put a big deck on the back of the house, purchased a piano and made some upgrades in the Kitchen. Oh yeh, and purchased a BIG tv (60 inch).
Despite all that Rebecca's jewelry is still all laid out on her bedside table how she liked it. Her cloths still take up 80% of the available space in our room and we eat fish at least once a week because she insists it's good for us.
I added raised beds to our veggie garden, it's much easier on my back. I have lots of fava's in for the winter and I'm starting to plan the spring plantings. The bees are a'buzzing but I got rid of the chickens, I decided I just didn't have any care-taking energy in me right now.
The kids are up and down. Generally they are doing amazingly well but every so often reconnect with what they have lost. I think as time goes on they understand more what it means to not have her around and are starting to miss the things that used to annoy them. "Why does she make us eat salad all the time" has become "Dad why don't we eat more salad"... The kids would never make me feel bad by saying anything like: "it was better when mom was around" but I know that it is true. I'm doing a pretty good job, but, the world was better when mom was around.
And then.... we have lots of fun. It turns out that living in a house with a sick person puts a cloud over things. There are times now that we have a level of loud, energetic, fun that we couldn't have in the house before because it was too much for Rebecca.
The railing of the new deck incorporates the last piece of art Rebecca welded.... you should come check it out and hang out on the deck with me and the kids!
Love Love
In the last 6 months I have: Built what amounts to an extension on the house to be the home of the Olive Press, totally remodeled the downstairs bathroom, replaced the floor and the sink in the upstairs bathroom, Put a big deck on the back of the house, purchased a piano and made some upgrades in the Kitchen. Oh yeh, and purchased a BIG tv (60 inch).
Despite all that Rebecca's jewelry is still all laid out on her bedside table how she liked it. Her cloths still take up 80% of the available space in our room and we eat fish at least once a week because she insists it's good for us.
I added raised beds to our veggie garden, it's much easier on my back. I have lots of fava's in for the winter and I'm starting to plan the spring plantings. The bees are a'buzzing but I got rid of the chickens, I decided I just didn't have any care-taking energy in me right now.
The kids are up and down. Generally they are doing amazingly well but every so often reconnect with what they have lost. I think as time goes on they understand more what it means to not have her around and are starting to miss the things that used to annoy them. "Why does she make us eat salad all the time" has become "Dad why don't we eat more salad"... The kids would never make me feel bad by saying anything like: "it was better when mom was around" but I know that it is true. I'm doing a pretty good job, but, the world was better when mom was around.
And then.... we have lots of fun. It turns out that living in a house with a sick person puts a cloud over things. There are times now that we have a level of loud, energetic, fun that we couldn't have in the house before because it was too much for Rebecca.
The railing of the new deck incorporates the last piece of art Rebecca welded.... you should come check it out and hang out on the deck with me and the kids!
Love Love
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Up and Down
Well I'm back at work and the kids are back in school and life goes on. We have our good days and bad days. On good days we talk about Rebecca and cry a little. On bad days we get caught up in daily life and forget to cry... or is it the other way around?
I have received an overwhelming number of letters and cards. It is amazing how many people Rebecca touched in her life. I hope and plan to respond to ALL of the cards... but it may take a year or two. I have decided to prioritize responses to people who do NOT read this blog as they will not receive this message: "Thank You".
I have received an overwhelming number of letters and cards. It is amazing how many people Rebecca touched in her life. I hope and plan to respond to ALL of the cards... but it may take a year or two. I have decided to prioritize responses to people who do NOT read this blog as they will not receive this message: "Thank You".
Thursday, September 15, 2011
A week attempt at stretching the title theme
Well, I promised myself I would write at least weekly updates for now.. so here I am.
And that pretty much sums up how I am feeling: If I give myself structure then I can follow it, I can walk through all of the actions of the day but I continue to feel like I'm playing a role rather than living a life.
I have started working again although holding any focus is very hard. I am trying to at least contribute what I can from my 'expertise'. It's kind of strange how radically the world has changed and yet these systems that I work on still seem to work in the same basic way. It's kind of comforting, in a way.
The kids continue to live life and miss their mom. Less tears, but still plenty. We talk about Rebecca a fair amount and we talk about our loss... we try to understand how to best take care of ourselves.
And that pretty much sums up how I am feeling: If I give myself structure then I can follow it, I can walk through all of the actions of the day but I continue to feel like I'm playing a role rather than living a life.
I have started working again although holding any focus is very hard. I am trying to at least contribute what I can from my 'expertise'. It's kind of strange how radically the world has changed and yet these systems that I work on still seem to work in the same basic way. It's kind of comforting, in a way.
The kids continue to live life and miss their mom. Less tears, but still plenty. We talk about Rebecca a fair amount and we talk about our loss... we try to understand how to best take care of ourselves.
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