To paraphrase the eternal bard: “The long slippery slope is long, slippery and slope-like”. OK, so he never said that but I’m sure he would have, if he had enjoyed my turn of phrase. What I am saying is; there are no sudden turns, few dramatic moments on the long slippery slope. There is just an inevitable, often messy, decline.
There haven’t been many updates on Rebecca’s health lately because there hasn’t been much to say. She has her up days and her down days. On an up day she makes her own breakfast (a bowl of cereal or some french toast) goes back to bed for the day and then sits with the rest of us at the dinner table while we eat and she tries to eat. Depending on how she slept that night she will spend more or less of her day between Netflicks and games on her iPad, reading books and sleeping. On a down day, she does less.
The most dramatic change, over time, is the slow addition of various pains. Occasionally, like last night, we end up in the emergency room, mainly with the hope that they will find some identifiable, distinct, specific; treatable, ailment. Unfortunately, she does not have appendicitis; that would have been so easy. No, it’s just the relentless progression down the long slippery slope. She takes more pain killers, sleeps more and has her up days and her down days.
No one knows how long the slope is although we are pretty sure we know where it ends. We have no idea if there is a precipitous drop at the end or just more of the same slow decent. Rebecca has a sense that she is approaching the end, but she has no idea at what velocity.
We are all on the slope and none of us know our journey. We know that the journey is precious and joyful; and sometimes sad. We should all live each day sharing as much love as we can with those we care about and remembering that we have to prioritize the things that are truly important to us. We bask in each others love and in the love of our friends and family, we feel blessed by that love; at least when we aren’t being grumpy and pissy.
Love to you all,
Andy
7 comments:
I love you. Even when you are grumpy and pissy.
Thanks for the reminder about the precious and the joyful. For me it's getting lost in the shuffle, so it's helpful to clarify.
We love you all.
Thanks so much for the post, Andy. I've been checking the blog frequently and wondering what was happening. In response to your deep and thoughtful words, I want to share with you a poem/prayer by a rabbi I respect named Sheila Peltz Weinberg.
A Prayer for the Journey
A prayer for the journey
For the journey we take in this fragile vessel of flesh.
A finite number of years and we will reach
The unknown where it all began.
Every life, every day, every hour is a journey.
In the travel is the discovery,
the wisdom, the joy.
Every life, every day, every hour is a journey.
In the travel is the reward,
the peace, the blessing.
Please give my love love to Rebecca, and of course take it for yourself as well.
Bridget
We love you and are thinking of you. Hugs and love to all of you. Love mere and Rob
As always you are brilliant, big-hearted and funny. Big waves of love are radiating from my heart to yours, Rebecca's, and the kids'. Rebecca you popped into my mind while I was snorkeling in the Galapagos, surrounded by a school of rainbow fish. There you were with me underwater, your hair spread out like a fan.
Love, Xoxo
Denise
My thoughts are with you. I feel your pain and know that love is guiding you. Thanks for sharing your journey with us and I hope it helps a bit to know that you are loved and loving.
Tora, Christa and Evan
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