Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Up and Down

Well I'm back at work and the kids are back in school and life goes on. We have our good days and bad days. On good days we talk about Rebecca and cry a little. On bad days we get caught up in daily life and forget to cry... or is it the other way around?

I have received an overwhelming number of letters and cards. It is amazing how many people Rebecca touched in her life. I hope and plan to respond to ALL of the cards... but it may take a year or two. I have decided to prioritize responses to people who do NOT read this blog as they will not receive this message: "Thank You".

Thursday, September 15, 2011

A week attempt at stretching the title theme

Well, I promised myself I would write at least weekly updates for now.. so here I am.

And that pretty much sums up how I am feeling: If I give myself structure then I can follow it, I can walk through all of the actions of the day but I continue to feel like I'm playing a role rather than living a life.

I have started working again although holding any focus is very hard. I am trying to at least contribute what I can from my 'expertise'. It's kind of strange how radically the world has changed and yet these systems that I work on still seem to work in the same basic way. It's kind of comforting, in a way.

The kids continue to live life and miss their mom. Less tears, but still plenty. We talk about Rebecca a fair amount and we talk about our loss... we try to understand how to best take care of ourselves.

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Two Week to move

Life continues to be totally surreal, I feel like I'm on drugs or.. something. It amazes me how Rebecca's presence was/is woven into everything I do and how palpable her absence is. I am told that I am grieving... as I am meant to grieve... woohoo... I'm doing it right, apparently. It sucks!

The kids are also up and down. Their days are full of the excitement of the new school year, new social and academic challenges. By bedtime they are physically and emotionally exhausted and we all get together for a cry over how much it sucks that Rebecca isn't with us.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Week at the knees

Well it's been a week and I am drifting in and out of a surreal fog. Every word I utter, every action I take reminds me of her. Sometimes that reminder is bitter and sometimes its sweet. I miss her SO much and yet she is so present. I joke, laugh, reminisce and cry with the family and friends that surround me but the words don't seem to add up... it's like i'm failing to describe some half remembered taste and no matter what I say it is followed by "no, that's not quite it". Nothing is as it should be.

As Ze'ev put it; "It's like being homesick but not being able to go home"

Big sigh.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Remembering Rebecca supporting these charities

Andy has asked me (Richard, again, Andy's brother) to share with this community of Rebecca's family and friends, that these two charities are ones which embody Rebecca's love and care for the world. If it is your wish or custom to make donations at such times, then please consider these charities or others you feel Rebecca would be happy to know are supported.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Funeral Arrangements for Rebecca

This is Richard writing again (Andy's brother).
The memorial service and burial will be held on Tuesday, August 23 at 11:00 am at Fernwood Cemetery in Mill Valley. Please watch this blog in the interim in case there are any changes.
If you are attending and able to car pool that will help the parking situation, and the planet.
The Cemetery is an "eco-cemetery" and does not have groomed paths. Although the cemetery staff try to clear away poison oak from the area of the grave, there may be some remaining. Please take care when walking for both these reasons. This may also inform your choice of footwear and clothing. 
As mentioned before, no flowers please - a list of charities to which donations can be made in Rebecca's memory and honor will be posted on this blog.
Shiva will take place on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday evenings, August 23, 24, and 25 in Berkeley. The family will receive visitors from 6:00 to 8:00 pm; a brief Ma'ariv ("evening") service and sharing of memories will take place each evening at 7:00 pm. 

Day 1 of the new era

I slept like I was drugged... to the extent that I wander if someone drugged me. We certainly have the wherewithal laying around the house. Or maybe it's just that I hadn't slept in days. The fact that I haven't been taking my own medication in ages probably doesn't help either.

Me and the kids were all giddy with fear last night and were goofing around like little kids to avoid going to our beds and having to think. Personally I fell asleep so fast I didn't think. I didn't hear a peep from the kids.

I woke up giggling. A joke so un-PC that I cannot repeat it in any company... let alone polite company. I couldn't stop giggling... and Rebecca was right there smiling that smile she smiles when she's loving me for my flaws, not despite them. The house is so full of her it is easy to hold her in my heart. I miss her so much and now I'm sobbing again.

I guess it's going to be another manic day of unimaginable pain and unconditional love at the Dale -1 household.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Arrangements: Tuesday - but not yet finalized

Dear Friends and Family.

This is Richard, Andy's brother, writing.

At this time we expect the funeral to be on TUESDAY, probably in the morning, but the time is not yet finalized. We need to wait for the State certification, a process that can only start on Monday morning.  Its timing is not predictable.

The funeral will be held at Fernwood (details here).  Please watch this blog for details once they are finalized. There will be three evenings of Shiva (gathering at the family home) and those details will also be published here. Until the time of the funeral the family is maintaining its inward orientation and visits are not customary. Thank you for your understanding. The Shiva will provide an opportunity for everyone to share your love and memories with Andy, Merav and Ze'ev and the wider community of those who loved and were loved by Rebecca.

Please do not send or bring flowers. We will publish the names of charities dear to the family to which donations can be made.

the end of one journey and the start of the next.

At 4:14 am on Saturday August 20th Rebecca left us. She left on a river of love that flowed from all of us close and far. She was ushered out of this world by 2 angels (more about them at another time) in the presence of myself and our kids Merav and Ze'ev (Gideon).

We are observing the jewish tradition of keeping to ourselves between now and the funeral. As plans for the funeral and the shiva (gathering together the days after the funceral) unfold they will be posted here.

With love!

Friday, August 19, 2011

never to be predictable

Rebecca never was one to go by other peoples timelines. This time she is accelerating rather than delaying the schedule. She has already fit 4-6 weeks of decline into a week, we are assuming that the time scale trend will continue and she will be gone fairly soon. It could be a few hours or it could be a couple of days. very unlikely to be any longer.

People are no longer going in to visit with Rebecca: she is otherwise occupied. If you want to come visit with the family please call first as we are trying to keep the house calm and quiet. i will post details of arrangements here as they unfold.


Tuesday, August 16, 2011

End of another day

Today was a good day. Rebecca rested peacefully for the first half of the day and we had some nice hang out time in the afternoon and evening. Now,every time she rallies I wonder if it's the proverbial last wind. It could be days, it could be weeks. Rebecca seems to think it might be sooner than later.

This evening me and the kids hung out on the bed with Rebecca. The kids showed her magic tricks they had learned... Trying to show 'illusions' to someone who has been hallucinating for days proves to be really hard. Ze'ev is asleep at the foot of our bed. Merav is in her room and Rebecca is peaceful besides me.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Long day

Finally she is resting more peacefully. Still not totally peaceful but much better. Lots of drugs and finally... a foot rub... and she's resting. I wish I had thought of the foot rub earlier.

3 weeks ago we said 6-10 weeks... now we seem to be looking at 2 or 3... Kids are doing great. I had some big sobbing today, finally. I know my heart will mend but I sure wish I didn't have to have it so thoroughly broken first.

Monday Morning

It was a tough weekend and an even tougher night. I'm tired. Rebecca has been anxious and rambling. We spent the night chatting about whatever was going on in the moment in her vivid dream state... incredulity that I didn't notice the olive tree grow in our bedroom and get absorbed into the walls... annoyance that I didn't know the name of the guy standing by the bed (despite him 'seeming like a nice guy').

Visits are becoming harder because she is more agitated. Call before you come over and I will let you know if a visit seems like a good idea.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Friday Morning

Rebecca's Dad and his wife Amy were here all week. We had some nice times and, most importantly, they both got to spend some good time with Rebecca. I think the highlight for Ze'ev was not only did Larry, Amy, Rebecca and I come to watch him dive at the pool... Amy pushed me in the pool!

Rebecca had a couple of good, pain free, lucid days. This morning she is feeling crappy so we just dosed her with what we hope will knock her out for a while and make the pain go away.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Another day

Yesterday was very busy. We had the hospice folks in first thing followed by a stream of visiting friends. Rebecca was awake and smiling through most of it. She would nap between visits and the visits only last 15 to 20 minutes before she closes her eyes and says; "OK, I have to sleep some now."

The hospice folks upped her drug intake and have prescribed all sorts of different pills for different symptomatic relief. Her pain is way down and her breathing sounded less strained in her sleep last night than it has in a while. One of the pills prescribed is a steroid, its primary purpose is to reduce the swelling in her belly and give her some relief there. It will likely have the side effect of giving her a little more energy... maybe we will drive somewhere and look at the view... or something.

Rebecca's car failed smog last week... Rebecca and her trusty steed. Trying to decide if I should try to get it fixed or not. Amazing how charged such a decision about a 25 year old car can be. I keep wandering if there isn't some way I could send Rebecca off on her final journey in the damn thing.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Big Bad News

The temptation to continue to stretch the previous post’s metaphor is huge, but that is a slope I will try to avoid.

Rebecca is now officially off of treatment and onto hospice care. This is a recognition of the fact that chemo is no longer helping and that the cancer has progressed to the point that there are no longer any weapons to fight it.

The main point problem is in her liver. Her liver is no longer performing its function properly and is leaking fluid into her abdomen. Her stomach is swollen with that fluid and very uncomfortable. Additionally her swollen liver is in itself painful even when she is in her preferred position, curled up on her side. She is taking significant quantities of pain killers to keep her comfortable which is also keeping her asleep most of the time. Between the drug affects and the blood toxicity her thinking is not always as linear as usual. She is hardly eating or drinking.

There is some small hope that the hospice folks will be able to mitigate the pain without as much sedative affect… but I’m not holding my breath. When she’s asleep she’s not in pain and she doesn’t like pain.

The oncologist guesses that Rebecca may be around for another 6 to 10 weeks but she could continue to surprise us… in either direction. From what I understand there should be a landmark along the way when she turns yellow. When full blown jaundice kicks in we will know that she is in her last few weeks. This is meant to be a fairly gentle way to go; Rebecca will sleep more and more, slip into a coma and eventually pass.

Since we heard this news Rebecca has seemed, to me, to be more peaceful than she has in a long time. She is no longer resisting her body’s natural progression through pure force of will.

Me and the kids are doing well. We are sharing a lot of love, tears and laughs together with Rebecca. All of our hearts are breaking but we know we will all be OK in the end.

I will try to keep the blog updated. Feel free to email, call or just drop in.

Love to you all,


Tuesday, July 19, 2011


To paraphrase the eternal bard: “The long slippery slope is long, slippery and slope-like”. OK, so he never said that but I’m sure he would have, if he had enjoyed my turn of phrase. What I am saying is; there are no sudden turns, few dramatic moments on the long slippery slope. There is just an inevitable, often messy, decline.

There haven’t been many updates on Rebecca’s health lately because there hasn’t been much to say. She has her up days and her down days. On an up day she makes her own breakfast (a bowl of cereal or some french toast) goes back to bed for the day and then sits with the rest of us at the dinner table while we eat and she tries to eat. Depending on how she slept that night she will spend more or less of her day between Netflicks and games on her iPad, reading books and sleeping. On a down day, she does less.

The most dramatic change, over time, is the slow addition of various pains. Occasionally, like last night, we end up in the emergency room, mainly with the hope that they will find some identifiable, distinct, specific; treatable, ailment. Unfortunately, she does not have appendicitis; that would have been so easy. No, it’s just the relentless progression down the long slippery slope. She takes more pain killers, sleeps more and has her up days and her down days.

No one knows how long the slope is although we are pretty sure we know where it ends. We have no idea if there is a precipitous drop at the end or just more of the same slow decent. Rebecca has a sense that she is approaching the end, but she has no idea at what velocity.

We are all on the slope and none of us know our journey. We know that the journey is precious and joyful; and sometimes sad. We should all live each day sharing as much love as we can with those we care about and remembering that we have to prioritize the things that are truly important to us. We bask in each others love and in the love of our friends and family, we feel blessed by that love; at least when we aren’t being grumpy and pissy.

Love to you all,


Thursday, May 19, 2011

And This Week

So.. I skipped a week for chemo. Yesterday, I got it. It went well. The last two rounds of chemo have been 5 week rounds instead of 4 week rounds. Last time it was because I wanted a break. This time it was because I felt so yucky, I wasn't up for it. I had a fever for a little over 3 weeks. I think it is gone now, but I am playing it super safe. The tumor marker went down to 146. That is good. All of my bloods are good, except the ALT, a hormone from the liver that goes up when there is too much of it in the blood, and the biliruben, another liver test. The biliruben is not as high as it was before, but yesterday's chemo was only half a does because of how high it was. I am glad it was only a half a chemo.
It seem that the side effect having the biggest effect on me is appetite. I am just not eating enough. I am very skinny. Haven't weighed this since something around 10th grade (that is before my growth spurt....) I am trying to eat more. Official permission to eat chocolate daily because the fat will slow the sweet to move through my body.
Today is steroid day number one. I am laying in bed buzzing. I have been a bit dizzy when I stand up, so I am not doing it that much. Steroids mean that I feel like I have buzzing energy and want to do a ton, but really, I am wiped out. I have to not use this 'false' energy because it will really do me in when the steroids wear off. Good movie suggestions always appreciated. I like light hearted, thoughtful, comedy is good...nothing depressing, unless it is also really funny.

love to you all

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Overdue update

The last few weeks have been tough... Rebecca has had a nasty cough. Having the paralyzed vocal chords means that she doesn't clear phlegm very effectively so she coughs and coughs and coughs... and laying down coughing... her back finally gave up and started to spasm. Yesterday we got her some muscle relaxants and some pain killers (with the obligatory supplemental 'softeners').

Today I sent this email to her oncologist in anticipation of tomorrow...

Dear Dr Gordon,

It is the Tuesday before a chemo Wednesday for Rebecca and she is doing pretty poorly. We saw Dr. Jordan yesterday because of her general shortness of breath, yucky feeling, on-going low grade fever, etc... A chest x-ray concludes that she does not have pneumonia but leaves me continuing to wander why she had a 101 fever during the night and is now upstairs coughing up her proverbial lungs (largely but not entirely unproductively).

Given how she's feeling I find it hard to imagine her having chemo tomorrow... what do you think?

As Always, THANKS

Love to you all!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Good news

Tumor marker down from 421 to 261! It has gone 714 to 421 to 261 in 2 months. This is very good. Normal, that is, no cancer, is 39 and below. I have not been there for a few years, but I would like to see it get down to the 100's. I am using this to get ok with going for chemo today. I feel pretty good, so it is hard to let that go... oh well...At least the steroids will keep me pumping for a couple of days.
love love

Thursday, April 07, 2011

April Update

I had a CT Scan last week and it came out representative of my last blood test.  The liver cancer has shrunk and the lung is stable and not doing much.  I have been dealing with heat in my hands which is a toxicity response to the cancer. Because it was still going on this week, the doc postponed chemo for a week. YAY!!! so I have a week off.  I feel ok, just a bit tired but glad to have the chemo break.  
Have some visitors this weekend, so I am laying low and hanging with them.
love to you all!
love love

Thursday, March 10, 2011

the latest

So, I had chemo yesterday.  They give me steroids when I do it and I already had some energy, so now I am bouncing off the walls!  It should calm down in a day or two... The good news is that my tumor marker went from 714 to 412! That is in the right direction very quickly.  That was in one month.  
Andy started planting seedlings today.   I am going to go rest and try not to buzz around the house.

love to you all.

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

we are back

Hi all,
We are back from Puerto Rico. It was a lovely and restful vacation.  We did not do a ton other than hang out with the Dales East (Andy's brother's family), go to the beach, pool, out to eat, and rest around the amazing house we were in.  I (Rebecca) mostly hung out on the couch and whipped through quite a few books.  It was good to have down time and know that the family was not waiting for me, but out having lots of fun.  We went out in the world a bit. We found the local health food store to get food for me. That was a good adventure.  Andy went with family to the rain forest.  We had a golf cart to get around and there were lots of friends for Ze'ev there; lizards, bugs, and huge iguanas.  He even managed to bug one of the smaller ones (the size of his forearm) into biting him. He was very proud of it.
Travel went well and we all returned rested for a change. Usually it is easy to come back from vacation needing a vacation, but with the r & r we got we were in good shape the day after we returned.  I am now getting tired from doing and doing since I got home. I did not realize how much I take care of when I am home and I need to pace myself.  The acupuncturist said that I did not over do it on vacation which is really good.  I did not have any treatments while I was there, so I came back weaker than when I left, but no damage was done. This is good.
Just thought you should know, we did it. We might not do it again, but we did it.

love to all.

Tuesday, February 08, 2011


Yesterday, I saw both my oncologist and acupuncturist and they both welcomed me back to the land of the living.  I have a sick liver that is now functioning, compared to a sick liver that was not functioning at all.  It was all a very happy medical day.
I have been being a vegan, but been told I can eat white, not fatty fish.  So I am hoping to start doing so soon as well as bringing healthy oils back into my diet. Luckily, I am married to mr. healthy oils guy. So we have great options in the house.  Today, I also managed to go out and have lunch with a friend at a cafe.  I managed.  I did have a choking session due to my darned vocal cords not closing and getting some water in my lungs, but when I got home, I was not complete toast.  Out all day... from 9am to about 2:30!  Very exciting.  
We are planning our trip to Puerto Rico with the Dales East and are very excited about it.  Looks like I am no longer on the fast track out of here.  Someone mentioned that I have nine lives, I have to count to see how much I have left.  As it stands, right now I feel like any time I have is all bonus.  This week, I have chemo on Wed and my dad is coming to visit on Thurs through Sun.  We then leave on next Thurs.  Luckily, we have a great house and chicken sitter lined up.  
love love

Saturday, January 29, 2011

The good, the bad and the itchy!

I guess I am going to go a bit out of order, but here goes.  Yesterday, I woke up with a fine itchy rash on various bits of me, behind my knees, forearms, belly...  I did something that I don't usually do. I contacted the doctor immediately, not waiting to see what would happen.  The kaiser doc was concerned that it might be my liver going into failure, so I got an early blood test.  I did research online and it fits a side effect of my chemo perfectly.  So here is the good: my bilirubin (liver function test) is NORMAL!  That does not mean I am out of the woods here, but it means that my liver is functioning better.  It is also the test that would tell them if I would get chemo on Feb 9th or not.  The verdict is most probably 'yes' at this point.  That is part of the bad. I am on a half dose of chemo right now. If my liver function is that good, I will get a full dose, so I am kinda scared about what the side effects will be like.  
oh.. and as for that Texas comment. We are not going to Texas. I just used the word 'y'all' in that post and said I talk like that because I lived in Texas.  We are supposed to try to go to Puerto Rico!  It is a trip with Andy's brother's family.  It might happen now... I have to wait and see.  
The other exciting news is that on Feb 9th, the same day as my next dose of chemo, Andy will be pledging allegiance to the flag and get his 3rd citizenship.

love love

Friday, January 28, 2011

Subscribing to the blog...

There is now a little 'subscribe' section in the top right corner. Hopefully you can use that to get automatic updates from the blog... please let me know one way or the other.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The latest

So, I have been eating my new diet, taking my new herbs, seeing my primary acupuncturist and energy worker... and I think it is working. I have no definitive news from my doc, but my liver does not hurt. My belly does not hurt, I am eating a little (still not enough, but some). I have a little more energy. Today, I made my own miso soup. That is the first time I have fed myself more than a bowl of cereal in a long time.
As my acupuncturist said today comparing my state to Monday. I am "much much better. Still really terrible, but much better."
That is the scoop.

Sunday, January 23, 2011


So, the weekend is over. I am doing a bit better than I was last week. Bob the acupuncturist is back in town, so I will see him tomorrow for the first time in a couple of months. My oncologist, when I saw him last week, said the magic words for me 'there is nothing you can do to support your liver'. Them's fighin' words. Of course that was exactly what I needed to hear. I did a bunch of research and found a couple of supplements and a liver friendly diet and I am generally feeling better. Better enough to get bored and grumpy.
Today, I stared a new therapy. It is called Quantum Pulse. It is a machine that one of my chemo nurses has at her house. She has invited me to come use it anytime and has given me a key to go in when she is not there. Thera are some amazingly good people in this world. You can research it on the internet, but basically it works on the assumption that the human body has an electrical charge of a certain type that is healthy. It creates that charge to reflect onto your body. Kinda telling it how to be healthy. I am going to try to go every day. Got not much to lose. She also has a detox footbath I did. I think it was too much, because my liver has been hurting today more and I am grumpy. I will lay off the foot bath, but keep trying the machine as it seems fairly gentle.
The kids are keeping busy and we are helping that to happen, so that is good. Andy and I are a bit stressed, what a shock, but are together. Tomorrow, Andy is going to go to work for a bit. He took all of last week off. So that will be a different rhythm. I have a couple of good books. Ever read Christopher Moore? He is really funny!
love love to you all.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Deep breath

Rebecca wrote a beautiful blog post about what's going on and how she's doing and then through a series of unfortunate strokes of her finger, as she learns to master her new iPad, managed to erase the message irrevocably. After spending a while trying to recover the message I get to write my version of events while she goes and has a rest.

Earlier this week, her recurrent fever and pain got to the level that we again ended up at our favorite ER. After a series of test, that took WAY too long, the doctors confirmed that there was nothing wrong, other than the cancer. What they found was that the cancer in the liver has progressed rapidly and aggressively. The pain she has been experiencing is pressure from her growing liver pressing on her stomach. The fever is a common symptom of this type of tumor. The good news is that with this understanding of what is going on the doctors have put her on 'pain meds' that have greatly reduced her symptoms. The reason 'pain meds' gets put in quote marks is because it is worth noting that she continues to be an incredible light weight when it comes to drugs and her pain is being managed by doses of ibuprofen.

Given the relief from her symptoms the last couple of days have actually been really nice. She's been up and about and even playing ping-pong with the kids on our newly converted dining room table. She's also having fun playing with her new iPad... did I mention she got an iPad?

Now, as ever, we get to wait. Early in February she will have more tests and we will find out if the new chemo is helping. If it is then, great, we are on track for some unknown period of time. If the new chemo does not slow, stop or reverse the progression of the disease in the liver, to quote the Dr.: "The decline can be precipitous'. So, with an incredible sense of deja-vu we know that "it could be 2 months, or it could be 2 years".

If we get the 2 month version; it's meant to be as good a way as any to go. A growing fatigue, a slowing of the mind and body until she falls asleep and doesn't wake up again. There are definitely worse ways to go.

We will keep you updated if anything changes and when we get the next results in early Feburary. Meanwhile, we continue to enjoy each day together as a family to the best of our ability to enjoy... and we really hope you will do the same!

Love you all,


Monday, January 17, 2011


day two of intermittent fever. yuck. This chemo does not come with fever, so I guess my body is trying to get something out. I will talk to doc's tomorrow. Maybe get an answer, maybe just drugs,maybe not... Dont hold your breath for any answers.
love love

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

day 1

Day 1. That is what the chemo nurses call the first day of a chemo round. This chemo I get only on day one. The round lasts for 28 days. So I am going to have a variety of phases to go through before I start. There are days that my bloods may be low and I am susceptible to infection. Days that I am more or less hungry.
Today: is day 3 of no fever, so it looks like I am over the flu. My biliruben was high in my blood so that means that my liver is having a rough time of it. Since my liver has to break down the chemo (that is also hard on the liver) they only gave me a half dose today of the new chemo. They also gave me a steroid that helps with nausea and lo an behold, I came home and ate more than usual. It felt really good. My goal is to eat a bunch more. I am down to 149 and fit in my cousin's skinny jeans again. They were on the shelf for a year...
I am glad I am on this chemo and think it is going to help. There are lots of side effects and most people do not get all of them. Nausea and burning mouth and hand/foot syndrome seem to be most common. I could lose my hair, but we will just wait and see. I am not cutting it off this time. The good news is that none of the side effects kicked in while I was getting it. That has happened before.
For those of you with iphones or ipod touches. Plants vs. Vampires took me through the whole chemo time. (Its a goofy game)
I am a bit hyped on steroids while being tired, so I am going to rest.
love to you all

Friday, January 07, 2011

Its (as) official (as it gets)

Looks like a I have a flu. Simply a worse version of what most folks have right now. My appetite has started to go up again, so eating is happening.
I have chemo next Wed at 10 am. I will go no matter what. It should not be a problem.
Thats all she wrote.
love love

Thursday, January 06, 2011

your fast paced news channel for health

So, I dont have pneumonia. Dunno what it is and am working with one doc to try to figure it out and the other doc to think about starting chemo while the problem still exists, or to wait...
Keep you posted.
love love

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

quickie update

Hi folks.
So the chemo keeps getting postponed because I have a fever. I think it is pneumonia, but no one knows for sure. That is how crappy I feel though. In bed. Low fever, up to 100.3 that comes and goes for a couple of days at a time. No appetite. Yep, very skinny again. This is what happened 2 years ago for months before I went to the doc. I am not waiting this time. The doc's did not respond today, which is fine as I had acupuncture and two trips out would have done me in. Tomorrow I will push for a chest x-ray to get the scoop.
that's it right now.
love love