Saturday, August 27, 2011

Week at the knees

Well it's been a week and I am drifting in and out of a surreal fog. Every word I utter, every action I take reminds me of her. Sometimes that reminder is bitter and sometimes its sweet. I miss her SO much and yet she is so present. I joke, laugh, reminisce and cry with the family and friends that surround me but the words don't seem to add up... it's like i'm failing to describe some half remembered taste and no matter what I say it is followed by "no, that's not quite it". Nothing is as it should be.

As Ze'ev put it; "It's like being homesick but not being able to go home"

Big sigh.


Linda said...

It must feel so incredibly unnatural. Only lots of time will ease the odd feeling of the blank space. Yesterday I planted the seeds from your front yard on a beautiful hillside garden at my school.

Bridget Wynne said...

It sounds like you're feeling the presence of an absence, which makes sense and doesn't make sense, all at the same time ... all-too-real and yet unimaginable. Thank you for letting us know where you are on this difficult journey.

Sending love love to all


lynne said...

dear andy and kids - nothing anyone can say can make this better for you - but hopefully knowing we love and remember her too, and are loving and trying to send you strength and good thoughts, will help a little.

Sindri said...

Andy, your words are always such brilliant summations of matters as they stand. Thank you for the helps, curiously.
I was felled by some major flu-thing on Weds. evening and I still feel horrible. But it has given me the down time to reflect and remember. I will miss her so damn much.

Drummond Reed said...

Big sigh. That says it all.

With all our love,


Rachel said...

Ze'ev really captured the feeling, didn't he?

Hang in there, and remember to take it one day at a time.

Much love,