Well, I promised myself I would write at least weekly updates for now.. so here I am.
And that pretty much sums up how I am feeling: If I give myself structure then I can follow it, I can walk through all of the actions of the day but I continue to feel like I'm playing a role rather than living a life.
I have started working again although holding any focus is very hard. I am trying to at least contribute what I can from my 'expertise'. It's kind of strange how radically the world has changed and yet these systems that I work on still seem to work in the same basic way. It's kind of comforting, in a way.
The kids continue to live life and miss their mom. Less tears, but still plenty. We talk about Rebecca a fair amount and we talk about our loss... we try to understand how to best take care of ourselves.