So… For those folks who are tracking this, my voice is still missing, but my energy is better. My voice has been gone for two weeks and I have this stupid squeeky mini mouse voice that makes me feel like I should bleach my hair and get a white dress....
My cough is not good, but it comes and goes. I find that when I can spend some time in a healing meditative space, my cough actually goes away. Creepy, but true.
I went to the oncologist to see about my voice and cough. He decided to move my CT scan up. Instead of having it in a month, we are going to check now to see how I am doing. The thing on my neck is shrinking. It is unlikely that the stuff in my lungs is growing while the neck is shrinking, but so far, my health is not very likely, so we are not taking any guesses.
Yesterday, I had another Medicine Buddha puja, which is a total honor. It was much less dramatic than the first one, which is good. My energy today has been very good, but it could be due to the quantity of sugar I ate. Yes folks, I fell off the wagon today and ate a doughnut (!) and cookies. Very yummy, but I do not feel I have to have them the way I did before. Good to be able to taste the fruit of the tree, but not feel addicted to it. (lets see if that lasts). After the Puja, I went to a wedding and stayed for quite a while. Cried for quite a while too. It seems that I have turned into a wedding crier. Never thought I would go there, but it is just so beautiful. Either way, the one noticeable possible result of the puja is the amount of energy I have today and my ‘get up and go’ has returned, which is nice.
I am seeing my acupuncturist once a week these days, waiting to meet the main Chinese and Tibetan docs. That will happen at the end of January when they come back from retreat. Monday, I get my third shot of Faslodex from Kaiser.
I am also still working with Connee to help being comfortable where I am when I am there, rather than trying to fight being here. It is hard, but when I get ok with it, life just gets easy.
I biked Ze’ev to school twice this week. It was great to be on my new bike. Andy and I ripped the shelves off of the dining room wall and I have been spakling, soon to be sanding (with a resperator on) and then painting that wall. The house has been calm and kind of organized, as it goes, lately. It feels good here, which is nice because I spend a lot of time here. Today, we put together the trampoline that my dad and Amy got the kids. It is really fun! Also finshed enclosing the chicken coop, so now we can get chickens. (and finish getting the roof tiles on.
I have also been hanging out with my non working friends during the day or crashing friends work places to make them eat lunch with me. I am getting out and shopping a little too, which is good. We have a new food system in our house. We are trying the English system to make life easier, except fish is on Thursdays, because garbage is on Friday and who wants fish bones around all week. I plan on having a good variety of foods, but at least I know what category is each night, like: chicken, beans, fish, pasta… It is making it so much easier for me to figure out what to cook.
I planted fava beans in a couple of beds as a winter cover crop, and lo and behold, they came up!! I am very excited about it because the kids have taught us how to eat them fresh and raw. Yum!!!
Between all of these projects, I am reading a lot and spending a lot of time on the couch. I have actually gotten a little addicted to tv again. I can turn it off, but I am finding it more relaxing than I have in years. I am no longer judging myself for wanting to watch it, which is good. I have had a jag of sadness about my health crap that I may be coming out of at this point. I have gotten the support I need through it and have had lots of good releasing cries. If I haven’t talked to you all about it, do not take it personally. I seem to not go into detail with many people. It just takes too much energy, even though I love you all so much.
Looks like my Dad, Amy and Abe are going to be visiting for a weekend at the end of January and then dad will stay for the week while Andy is out of town. (back in Dublin, Ohio where the mothership is.) That will be really nice.
That is all the news fit to print tonight, maybe more later.