Friday, March 13, 2009

belated info

Hi, so... we did not tell everyone what time the surgery was going to be. We have not been on top of communication and coordination, at all. I had my polyp surgery yesterday and it went very well. I was under for 1.5 hours and it was, of course, not cancerous. I found a way to see it as something that I was choosing to do that was being done for me, not something that they were doing to me. It made it a much happier experience. I slept most of yesterday and joined everyone for dinner. Gill & Michael, Andy's folks have come for support services and made a great salmon meal!
Since the surgery my energy has been up. I have not been clear about what is going on here because nothing has been clear. I have very slowly been loosing energy. Going from letting others take care of me to needing others to take care of me. We all thought, next week or in a couple of weeks I will be fine, but it just has not happened. So now we are slowly beginning to look for the long term care solutions that we used before. We are much less excited about it this time, not that we were excited before, but we were somehow more organized. We have just began organizing the local people for support and will get to long distance people later. If you are reading this and do not get an e-mail notice within a week from March 13th, let us know you want to be on the help list.
One of my challenges is that I am way to skinny at this point. Hungry, but nothing sounds good. Each time I get a fever, I lose weight and then never gain it back. I do eat at least 4 times a day. If anyone has good snack food ideas, I am all ears. no dairy or soy.
As those who have visited have seen, life still goes on and goes on well. A year from today is Merav's Bat Mitzva, very exciting. The kids have play dates, birthday parties, dances, school, homework, chicks... chicks? you say. yep. We now have 9 1.5-week old chicks in our living room. We are going to be egg central by the end of the summer. One is a boy and will get sent to the farm that we are CSA members of when he is old enough. That will be good. Between the chicks and the trampoline, we are now a kid 'place to visit'.
So we do not know if my cancer is spreading or not. I am going to get a CT scan in about a month and a half to see how it is going. I am taking the spiritual path seriously and it really makes things go easier no matter what the outcome. I send you all of my love and wish for you to focus love, not worry or fear, on us.
look forward to hearing from you.
love love
rebecca

1 comment:

Denise Wolf said...

Hi, sweetie. I wish you guys were up for a visit tonight. I could really use a shot of you guys. (my tumor marker from two weeks ago came out elevated, so I have been needing friends to help bring me back to earth and the moment). Anyways, congratulations on having your polyp out. Do you sound less mouselike now, or will that need to wait for some more healing? I can't wait to see your little chicks. And yes, the Matmitzvah girls are marching toward us. Aviva too, of course.


I'd really love to talk to you soon.

Well, get rest, and I'll keep bugging you until we find a time. And of course we can't wait to help out however, with cooking and such.

Much love,

Denise

**and I get, really get, the request you made at the bottom of your post, to bring one's love and not things like pity. I couldn't agree more. I'm also starting to understand better what you said about not really wanting to make new friends right now. Topics that are related, at least for me.